How Decisions Affect Our Future

Have you ever sat down and thought about a decision you made in the past and followed it's 'consequence' to the present day? If you have done that, have you also wondered how different your life would be if you had made the decision differently?

Obviously, we are unable to go back in time and change the past. But the fascination is how the past affects the future in ways we could never imagine--for better or worse.

Case in point, today I was thinking about my really good friend back in Montana and was reminiscing about how we had met. Then I made a crazy discovery. Are you ready for a story?

*settles down in his comfy armchair*

Some of you have heard part of this story before, but for those who have not, here we go. It was April of 2008 and I was all set to graduate from college in a couple weeks. Several friends and I had just gone to the spring play the college had put on and we wanted to head out to a restaurant to eat. Only four of us ended up going, and we headed off to Chili's. My three friends got something to eat, but I really didn't have enough money for a full meal, so I just got water. But then, as I was flipping randomly through the drinks menu because I was rather bored, a drink caught my eye, so I ordered it (and yes, I was 21). Now, understand, I went to a Christian college and all alcoholic drinking was prohibited as long as you were enrolled at the college (that meant, no matter if you were on campus or off campus, you would still get in trouble). My friends were a little uncomfortable, but I knew they wouldn't say anything. However, I did not factor in that sitting a couple booths behind us was another group from my school. One of the kids saw what I had ordered and called up the deans. To cut down the story, I ended up getting kicked out.

(Now, before you get all riled up about this, please understand that age didn't matter over the rules of the college. All that is in the past and I graduated the following year with honors, so no hard feelings. The story is told for background purposes.)

Anyway, after I got kicked out, I of course had to head back home. After a few days at home, my parents suggested I get a couple jobs so I could raise the money I needed to pay for my final semester. So I went back to KFC (I had worked there during highschool, and during college Christmas breaks) and then got a night job working as a delivery driver at Pizza Hut. While working at Pizza Hut, I met this girl that was just simply amazing and we ended up becoming very good friends both at work and outside of work and have stayed close to this day.

Now you're probably thinking, 'Ok, get to the point already.'

My point: If I had not made that ridiculous decision to buy that alcoholic drink at Chili's back in college, resulting in my expulsion, I would have most likely never worked at Pizza Hut and would have most likely never met this girl who became a very close friend and a light in my life. It is truly amazing how something that started out as a terrible decision ended with a friendship to last a lifetime. (Yay for alcohol? =P)

So, although we can not predict the future, we can control our present choices. And the cool part is, we have no idea where those choices will lead us.

Life is crazy, huh?

Brain Control?

What happens when someone gives you a suggestion?

Well, several things take place. First, you take that suggestion and process it in your mind, judging it against values that you've already set up--decision parameters, so to speak. Some of these parameters might include who the person is (i.e. is it someone you trust), what suggestion exactly has been made, if there are any "hidden" meanings in that suggestion, etc. Secondly, you formulate a response based on how that suggestion matched up to your parameters. Oddly enough, even though we know how we want to respond, depending on who the person is, or even your own personality, you may second guess you decision and end up just agreeing with the initial suggestion.

And here's the kicker--against our own personal values we allows someone's suggestion to manipulate us into reforming our response to be in the affirmative even though we totally disagree with the suggestion.

Maybe this is just me. I have no psychology background; this is just what I've observed in my own life. Some of you may say "You're just not confident enough to stick up for what you feel is right". Others may say "You're too much of a people pleaser and want to feel accepted". And maybe this is all true. But at the same time, does it really account for the fact that someone is suggesting something over and over again just to make a point?

I don't like "forceful suggestions"--suggestions that make me feel like I'm making the wrong choice if I disagree.

Maybe it is just all in my head...